Give birth to a baby in France and you can count on at least 16 weeks of paid leave to cuddle and bond. Have a child in Norway and you get 42 weeks at full pay. Sweden promises 390 days at 80 percent of your salary. So how much paid leave does Uncle Sam guarantee America's moms? Try zero, zip, zilch.
That's right, the United States may be the world's richest nation, but we're also one of only 5 out of 174 that don't mandate any paid maternity leave. Three others are poor countries (Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, and Lesotho); the fourth, Australia, at least guarantees a full year of unpaid leave, plus a small lump-sum payment to all new mothers. We can't even match that: The U.S. Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) merely requires employers to offer 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave, and the rule applies only to companies with 50 or more workers.
And what does it say when we have the VP candidate of the United States who has a baby and goes back to work three days later? I appreciate her dedication to her job and her wish to not be seen in the dog-eat-dog world of politics as more of a liability than a man, but when the rest of us ground-level moms are having to fight for every minute we can of even unpaid leave, and to ensure our jobs are there when we get back, I'm not sure it gives us moms begging for some leave a proverbial leg to stand on. I would love to work part time and be able to stay at home more with my son. Unfortunately, that's just not possible if I want to get our rent, power, gas, grocery bill, and car payments paid. When Xavier was born, I took 9 weeks of leave. I got paid for 6 weeks of short-term disability at 60% of my pay. Though to be honest, I had to jump through so many hoops and fill out so much paperwork it almost wasn't worth it. I got a lump sum check two days before I went back to work.
So maybe I should have a child in Norway or Australia? Sad that the country of my birth is not at all interested in encouraging moms to be at home with their children at the levels of the rest of the developed world. I wonder where the priorities really are.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Since I minored in Economics
After the recent tethering-on-the-edge-of-total-economic-and-financial-meltdown couple of weeks it seems economic systems and their workings have pushed their way into the need-to-know-category.
Well, thanks to a friend from rural Ireland we can now simplify this all down to what makes sense and explain 21 economic models with cows. It is remarkable how much sense it all makes from this real world perspective ;-) SOCIALISM You have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRACY You have 2 cows.The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away... TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows.You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows.You count them and learn you have five cows.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows.You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows.Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.You tell them that you have none.No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh#t out of you and invade your country.You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy... AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows.Business seems pretty good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows.The one on the left looks very attractive..
Well, thanks to a friend from rural Ireland we can now simplify this all down to what makes sense and explain 21 economic models with cows. It is remarkable how much sense it all makes from this real world perspective ;-) SOCIALISM You have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRACY You have 2 cows.The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away... TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows.You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows.You count them and learn you have five cows.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows.You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows.Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.You tell them that you have none.No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh#t out of you and invade your country.You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy... AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows.Business seems pretty good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows.The one on the left looks very attractive..
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Immigration and Reverse Psychology
From the MANITOBA HERALD
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.
The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk." Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture. In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history and English majors does one country need?"
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.
The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk." Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture. In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history and English majors does one country need?"
Monday, October 13, 2008
Stupid Skateboarders
So here's my grump for today. Why do people have to drive so fast down the street I live on? Is there a particular reason that it is necesary to drive 50 mph down a residential street? I realize that it is a looooong street and clearly wherever you are trying to go is important, but there are a lot of children and pets that play on this street. A delay of maybe a minute is really not that big of a deal. I am consistently surprised by the speed at which drivers are going down a residential street where you really should not be driving any faster than 25 mph, 15 would be better. Seriously, people will tailgate like 3 feet from my bumper when I drive home and then will swerve around me and zoom down the road, flipping me off in the process. Ask Jane, they did it to her too! Fine, man, you go on driving like a madman and run over someone's pet, or Heaven forbid, hit someone's child. I personally prefer being a teeny bit more cautious. Now before you get the wrong idea that I'm objecting to driving fast, let me disabuse you of that idea. I'm all for driving fast, I do whenever I can borrow a car that goes more than 45 mph in fourth gear. But I don't do it when there are houses and people who live in them within a step or two of my high velocity vehicle. Honestly, it frightens me that Xavier might be riding his bike someday and some psycho speed demon comes racing on by.
And along the same lines, what is with the group of teenagers who ride their skateboards in the middle of the road, clearly taking their lives into their own hands by being in the middle of the road and not paying any attention to the aforementioned speeding vehicles. Let me set the stage for you. I'm driving down the street on my way home at my usual 25 mph, so I see these guys in their stupid skinny jeans and shaggy haircuts (WTF?) riding their boards dead center in the middle of the street. I know they saw me because it took me a good 60 seconds to get to their location. I actually had to come to a complete stop and honk at these punks to get them to move out of the road so I could continue on home. Seriously, do you have no brain at all? I am happy they have a hobby that keeps them close to home, I am a parent too after all. But is it possible to remind these stupid little punks that they are playing in a ROAD WHERE CARS DRIVE and they do need to yield that right of way to a car. I hate to think what would happen if one of those speedster cars came racing around the road with far less notice than me and hit a kid. SLOW DOWN PEOPLE! Its just not worth the minute of time you might pick up. Really.
And along the same lines, what is with the group of teenagers who ride their skateboards in the middle of the road, clearly taking their lives into their own hands by being in the middle of the road and not paying any attention to the aforementioned speeding vehicles. Let me set the stage for you. I'm driving down the street on my way home at my usual 25 mph, so I see these guys in their stupid skinny jeans and shaggy haircuts (WTF?) riding their boards dead center in the middle of the street. I know they saw me because it took me a good 60 seconds to get to their location. I actually had to come to a complete stop and honk at these punks to get them to move out of the road so I could continue on home. Seriously, do you have no brain at all? I am happy they have a hobby that keeps them close to home, I am a parent too after all. But is it possible to remind these stupid little punks that they are playing in a ROAD WHERE CARS DRIVE and they do need to yield that right of way to a car. I hate to think what would happen if one of those speedster cars came racing around the road with far less notice than me and hit a kid. SLOW DOWN PEOPLE! Its just not worth the minute of time you might pick up. Really.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Money Troubles
So I heard on the news this morning that just as AIG is asking for another kajillion dollars from NY state (yes, I am using a non-sensical number on purpose to make my point), it comes out in Congressional hearings that some of their employees have been out at some shi-shi resort in Cali getting manis, pedis, and massages for a grand total of nearly half a million dollars. And the company is planning another one at the Marriott in Half Moon Bay, CA. Now, in fairness, AIG says the money they used didn't come from us taxpayers. Really? Do I have STUPID on my forehead somewhere? Does it matter if THAT $400 grand didn't come from us, because I'm more than positive they could have found something a teeny bit more important than personal hygiene to spend that money on. This is my issue for today, why is that us lowly plebs are working as hard as we can to make ends meet, scrimping on everything we can find, considering 2nd jobs just to pay car and house payments, making payment arrangments on gas and electrical bills, and these SHMUCKS are off getting pampered?
You know who needs to be pampered? My husband. He works usually 50 hours a week, goes to college at least six more hours in the week to try and get his master's degree, comes home and is an amazing husband and father to Grayson, Olivia, and Xavier. This shouldn't be so hard to do in America. It honestly used to be that if you were determined and worked hard, that effort would pay off and you would eventually not have to work so hard. When does that happen now? I mean I went back to school to change careers so I'm fine with the $4 / hour paycut I took to start at the ground floor of the Paralegal profession. I mean its hard but I have to tighten the belt a little bit to make it work. Thank God I have my family who is amazing and wonderful, who helps me out when they can.
I think this whole country is in the same position my family is and it makes me angry. Why do the politicians and CEOs get billions of dollars when the policies and actions they have taken are clearly failing and we are paying more for everything? I'm not just taking about luxuries but everyday items like food and utilities. I think the CEOs need to live in a one bedroom apartment with their families and have to walk to work in wal-mart clothes and payless sneakers for a while, and the rest of us average peeps should get their lives. We could call it the CEO to Average Schmo Exchange Program. I'd be happy to be the administratrix of this program! I wouldn't even need a golden parachute, just a week in that same spa the AIG folks got and I'd be happy to come back to my regular life as Emily.
You know who needs to be pampered? My husband. He works usually 50 hours a week, goes to college at least six more hours in the week to try and get his master's degree, comes home and is an amazing husband and father to Grayson, Olivia, and Xavier. This shouldn't be so hard to do in America. It honestly used to be that if you were determined and worked hard, that effort would pay off and you would eventually not have to work so hard. When does that happen now? I mean I went back to school to change careers so I'm fine with the $4 / hour paycut I took to start at the ground floor of the Paralegal profession. I mean its hard but I have to tighten the belt a little bit to make it work. Thank God I have my family who is amazing and wonderful, who helps me out when they can.
I think this whole country is in the same position my family is and it makes me angry. Why do the politicians and CEOs get billions of dollars when the policies and actions they have taken are clearly failing and we are paying more for everything? I'm not just taking about luxuries but everyday items like food and utilities. I think the CEOs need to live in a one bedroom apartment with their families and have to walk to work in wal-mart clothes and payless sneakers for a while, and the rest of us average peeps should get their lives. We could call it the CEO to Average Schmo Exchange Program. I'd be happy to be the administratrix of this program! I wouldn't even need a golden parachute, just a week in that same spa the AIG folks got and I'd be happy to come back to my regular life as Emily.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
First Blog Post
FABULOUS. I have unblocked since they know I'm not a spam blog. So this first post is to share exactly how SICK I am of the election baloney going on and to wish that it was November 4th already. I mean I tried to be an educated and responsable voter. I watched the first debate and I tried to watch the Veep debate. Xavier clearly was frustrated and annoyed that I replaced his cute, red furry friend Elmo with Joe Biden and Sarah Palin who are not nearly as cute and adorable. He vetoed the watching of the debate, but I did catch the first few minutes of it. I started to watch debate Redux 2, but here's my biggest gripe: Why do the candidiated simply keep repeating the same mantras over and over again and not ever actually answer the questions they are asked? I mean if i had a nickel for every time McCain or Palin said "maverick", I could single-handedly bail out the country myself. Not that Obama and Biden are immune, because the same goes for "we can't afford more of the same." Does it seem like this has been going on forever already? My grandmother said that maybe it just seems that way, because the campaign started back in March before the candidiates were even confirmed. Maybe that is the case, and I'm suffering from a HUGE case of voter fatigue. Don't get me wrong, I am still voting in November, but as far as I'm concerned I could probably turn off the tv, radio, and never log on to the CNN politics site or factcheck.org until 11/4 and be just fine. I mean I've had my decision made since March and nothing has even come close to changing my opinion yet. I understand that people are undecided but would anyone object if I declared the election was happening tomorrow? Or better yet, could someone convince me why another 20 some-odd days of this ridiculousness is good for me or the country?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)